Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.