dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children