Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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