Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
