oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
