JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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