I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
