you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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