And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
