Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
