Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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