I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
