Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
