Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
