Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
