He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
