ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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