He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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