Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
