Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
