Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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