Cold hands, warm shart.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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