You work out of a Hotel?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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