And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im holly from the hills drunk
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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