Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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