I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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