Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
