i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize