omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
