girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
