elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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