so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
