Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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