The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize