Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
