You're completely useless in the revolution.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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