I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
