Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
