Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
