And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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