So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
