a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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