dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
