did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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