i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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