His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
