So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
