your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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