He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize