I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's shark week go big or go home
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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