Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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