I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
