My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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