I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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