I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
