That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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