NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
