I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
