I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I need water and some morals
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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