i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
