New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize