yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
