omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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