Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
