You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
