it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
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Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
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Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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