Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
