Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am naked and annoyed.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
