Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
soo... how was my night?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
