Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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