I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
