I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
