How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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