Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i now understand why vodka
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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