is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
